So Proud of Kyle---our tween!!

Kyle will be 11 in October, and he is officially a "tween"---which is what they call it those few years before he actually becomes a teenager (I'm sure you all already know that!!) Well, we've had a few situtions that are really making me feel like he's getting older!! He's able to joke on our level, he's lost some of his childhood innocence (we had the birds & bees talk--just the basics!), and now---this happened the other day. Be prepared, it still makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.

The scenario: It's chaos as usual at our house. Hannah's friend is getting dropped off at our house, the neighborhood kids are running around playing with Hannah & her friend, and the dog is barking non-stop at something (or maybe nothing) in the backyard. While in the middle of talking to Hannah's friends' mom, I go around the house to see what Shadow is barking at. It's Kyle & two of his friends (who I have not met yet) cutting through the yard on their bikes. Kyle is talking to one of the boys saying, "Go home! We don't want to play with you! Stop following us around! Leave us alone and go home!"

Well, I am shocked that he would talk to ANYONE like that, even if he didn't want to play with them! Thoughts were running through my head like, "I thought we raised him better than that" and "I can't believe he's talking to someone like this". I was mixed with shock & frustration--upset that he would even think that it was okay to talk to someone like this!! So, I tell him to go inside with both of his friends while I spoke with Hannah's friends' mom & I would be in talk to him in a minute.

When I go inside, I call Kyle down to talk to him. FYI~~One of the boys was Dylan (who I knew he was becoming friends with at school). Kyle had asked if he could have Dylan over earlier that day & I had said that was fine. The other boy will be called "T" in this story. So, here's what Kyle told me---

He was at Dylan's house playing & his neighbor "T" wanted to come inside & play. Well, "T" is in 6th grade (Kyle & Dylan are in 5th) and while they were inside playing "T" wanted to get on the computer. While he was on the computer he told Kyle & Dylan that he was going to look up naked pictures of girls. (Yes, take a moment to read that last sentence again. It makes me sick. They think of that in 6th grade?!?!?) Kyle then said that him & Dylan were telling T to get off the computer, they don't want to look at that and they're not suppossed to look at that. Well, let me just tell you that I told Kyle that "T had to go home right now and play with kids his own age". Kyle begged me not to say anything about what he told me. So, I told T that Kyle could only have one person over today & he had asked if Dylan could come over earlier. So, T needed to go home.

I was SO PROUD OF KYLE. For so many reasons---making the right decision (even with his peers around), telling me the truth, and telling an older kid to go home even when he knew it was rude. He had decided that making the right decision was more important than worrying about what his peers thought. Yes, I am beaming right now!!

While it is SO hard to think that we're coming up to this tween stage and it's terrifying to know that we're approaching unchartered waters! It's so comforting to know that everything we've worked hard to teach Kyle in all these years actually may have paid off! I hope and pray that he continues to make these good decisions. Not only Kyle, but Hannah and Baby Evans, too! Who knows what Middle School will be like by the time Baby Evans gets there! It's also reassuring to know that as long as we do the best we can, God will take care of the rest.

One more thing, after telling Kyle how proud we were of him (over & over & over), this did open the discussion about if doing something like that was wrong & why. We got to talk about addictions, what the bible says about temptation, and the fact that we're all human and will make mistakes sometimes & that doesn't make us a bad person. I'm proud to say that as long as Kyle keeps this up, he's going to do just fine! Let's say lots of prayers for Hannah, though. She's not always the one to stand against the crowd, if you know what I mean!!

Stay tuned for more Tween Parenting stories!! I'll post the one about the "birds & the bees" talk with Kyle. What I thought was going to be awkward turned out to be really funny! Kyle was open to talk about stuff, but in the end was just grossed out with it all. The discussion was brought up because they were working on disease reports at school and one of the kids chose to work on the disease "AIDS". When he was looking up information about the disease, it actually said "A man having sex with another man". Again, I'm so proud of Kyle for coming to us to ask about this. I'll post the entire story later.